So I’ve been really conflicted lately about what I’m doing. I am going crazy being here and need to get out soon. When I originally moved here, I just planned on getting some part time waitressing/retail thing in Sydney/Melbourne/Brisbane, you know, enough to cover expenses. The more I think about it though, the more that’s just not me. I want a “real” job where I can contribute, not just be some slacky. Plus I miss being in a lab. I mean, I left ATCC in September. I miss being in a lab, doing science. But there aren’t any short term (<6 month) science jobs here. At ATCC we would hire people for 3 or 4 months to cover maternity leaves, or short term projects, but apparently they don’t do that here. Even maternity leave covers are for 12 months. My current visa will only allow me to work for a certain company for 6 months, so anything longer is out of the question unless they sponsor me for a visa. I was on Kelly Scientific (which we have in the States too, that’s who we usually hire our temps thorough) checking things out and there were a couple permanent jobs listed. I started thinking about applying for a permanent job, I mean even if it’s permanent doesn’t mean I have to stay forever. But if I wanted to applying for a permanent job I feel like I would have to stay I would stay for a least a certain period of time, like 2 or 3 years. That’s a long time though. It’s a long time to go without seeing my friends (all of whom now that I’ve left the DC area after living there for 3.5 years after college, want to move there) and my family, especially my niece and nephew. That led to some serious thinking about what the hell am I doing here? Leaving a stable job with a reputable company during a recession to move to another country where jobs are scarce as well. What the hell am I thinking? I am an idiot. What am I doing with my life? I’m 26, alone, as of 2 months ago, living with my parents, now living with a cousin, have no job, no property, nothing. I see other people, friends, people from college and high school who are getting married, having kids, buying houses, “growing up” and here I am, drifting. It’s just that I feel like I should be so much further along in my life then I am. I’m afraid being here I am going to use up all of my savings, especially if I travel like I want to and not having income, and go home broke and have to start all over again. I refuse to go back now though. I don’t want to go crawling back admitting I was crazy. I’m here and I want to stay until at least the end of the year. Travel, see New Zealand, see some of Southeast Asia, see the rest of Australia. I flew all the way here, I need to make the most of it. Plus people keep asking me, have you found a job, are you looking? I know people are just interested, but it also makes me feel like they’re looking down on me because I don’t have a job yet and I should. I decided that if I was going to spend a year here then move back to the US somewhere besides the DC area and only talk to friends and family on the phone from somewhere else in the US, then why not just talk friends and family on the phone from here? So I decided, what the hell, I will apply for permanent jobs. Now I think I would be able to start working at a company with the visa I have but for a permanent job a company would have to sponsor me for a long term work visa. To do this, a company would have to prove that there are no domestic applicants that would be better candidates. Now some companies now-a-days aren’t even willing to consider foreign applicants so I have no idea is these applications would even go anywhere. I applied for several jobs through Kelly Scientific in both Sydney and Melbourne. Here’s a weird thing about companies here, it’s uncommon for companies to advertise openings directly on their websites. They all do them through these 3rd party companies, which I think is strange. I got replies back from the applications I put in for the Sydney jobs (which I think was actually for a company, BTF that I had already been communicating with directly) saying “your application had been unsuccessful in this instance.” Not even shortlisted, for jobs I’d be perfect for. I got these rejections like the day after I applied. Who knows why, is it because I’m an international applicant, or because they didn’t like my resume? Was I rejected by Kelly or by the specific company (on these stupid websites it doesn’t even say what the actual company you’re applying for is, just a city and what they do)? I mean, did the actual company see my resume or did Kelly reject me before even sending the resume on? Who knows? I still have a couple applications in for a company in Melbourne and I applied for a part-time (15-30 hours a week) job in Brisbane. It’s listed as a “casual” position so I’m hoping that may mean I have a better chance of at least getting shortlisted for it. I mean, damn people, I spent over 3 years at freakin’ ATCC, a place that when I went to conferences and told people where I was from they oohed and awed like I was some sort of modern day Marie Curie. Shouldn’t that at least give me some leeway here, make people at least interested in what I can offer. I am smart, have a great company on my resume, and damn it, I am a hard ass worker. I believe in finishing what I start, doing it all out the first time (because if you have to do it over, why waste the time the first time around?), I would be an asset to any company! I hope people see that when I do come crawling back to the states begging for a job. I do think the one company, BTF, had some interest in me. I sporadically sent them a resume just to get my name out there (even mentioned I’d worked with Biomerieux, whom they are owned by) and got a response from a PhD., mentioning they were going to advertise an opening the following week through Kelly and Seek.com.au. My resume must have sparked at least some interest for me to get any response at all, that was encouraging. But I think what killed me was that I only have a visa where I can work for up to 6 months and they wanted someone for longer and weren’t willing to sponsor someone for longer. This is the company that I “think” I applied for through Kelly and got the “your application was unsuccessful in this instance” reply. But like I said, I am holding out hope for the part-time casual job in Brisbane, as I mentioned I really liked Brisbane. Also I haven’t been rejected by the Melbourne company yet, so we’ll keep our fingers crossed. Damn I just want to have somewhere to go during the day, people to communicate with. I think I need to set a deadline for myself, say June 15th or 20th or something as a cutoff date where if I don’t hear anything about a job, I will just up and move somewhere and find a retail/server thing, or at least set out traveling, attempting to spend that savings. The only thing more depressing then sitting at home in the US going I wish or what if, is taking that chance and then not making the most of it. If I have to spend my savings to have an amazing, life-changing experience, then I should just take that chance. I bitch about not being in a place in my life where I think I should be, but I keep reminding myself that we can’t compare ourselves to other people. We can’t let people dictate who we think we should be. I mean, there are so many people back home who wish they were where I am, I shouldn’t be bitching. I made the biggest jump of all by leaving my job, friends and family and coming here, everything else should be cakewalk, right? I should let life take me where it wants. I have always believed that things in life always turn out how they’re supposed to, call it fate, destiny, desire, kismet, whatever. We are all presented opportunities, we just have to make the most of what is presented us. So I will apply to places, travel, let what will happen, happen. Life will work out and what’s meant to happen will. I’m just going through a bit of a funk right now and I know I’ll bust out of it eventually. At least I can say that I did something crazy by even moving here in the first place, not many people can say that.
PS - Sorry about the lack of correct grammar and punctuation and it being one big paragraph. I have been writing for like 8 hours trying to get this damn blog updated because I was like a week and a half behind and I am tired. It is after 11 pm here and I am tired and too lazy to make my grammar correct and make sense, so deal with it.
12 years ago
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